


When You Love Me Like That

by hedakomtrashkru (direwolfofhighgarden)



Series: This is us [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 12:59:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6052462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/direwolfofhighgarden/pseuds/hedakomtrashkru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're thinking about this and trying to remember life before Lexa moved away and life after Lexa was gone and life when Lexa moved back in the beginning of high school but her voice takes you out of your reverie."</p><p>OR</p><p>The small-town, grow up together, best friends turned lovers series of minifics that follows some of their adventures from high school into college and possibly beyond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You know how to make this girl go crazy

**Author's Note:**

> An exercise in the fluffiest piece of shit I can possibly physically muster, which nobody asked for but I'm doing anyway. ALL THE TROPES!!!! ALL OF THEM GADDAMMIT!!!!! Based on the song "Love Me Like That" by Kira Isabella, because I'm still country music trash. It's fucking cute though, so cute. And I need childhood Clexa best friends turned lovers and growing up together and falling in love. My original idea was a one shot, but it obviously grew because trash knows no bounds. It's going to be a multi-chapter monster, folks.
> 
> I don't know what angst is. What is angst? The only time I hear the words "The 100" and "angst" together in a sentence is if the words "does not have" are in between them.
> 
> I'm also ignoring the Hakeldama episode we're about to watch, and ignoring all the fandom wars lol oops.

She's beautiful like this, and you know it, but it doesn't mean you'll ever get used to it. You're laying in the bed of her truck waiting as the sun warms your skin. Lexa brought a blanket for you to lay on – she always has a spare in the backseat, and she hands it to you with a smirk every single time she does. You know it's because she always has the thought of “again?”, and you always huff in vague annoyance at her _smugness_ because you both know she's gotten used to keeping one in the back for how often you forget your own house key. Really, it's not your fault that you've forgotten your house key and the spare that was under the plants... _and_ the one under the cushions of the couch you keep on the porch so you have to wait for one of your parents to come back for you.

So you're forgetful. You can't help if you're always excited whenever Lexa picks you up to go out. But you're also intuitive. You know Lexa hides behind her cool exterior sometimes still, so lately you've found yourself conveniently forgetting to point out that Lexa didn't start bringing a blanket just because of your forgetfulness, but rather, it's a product of her thoughtfulness ever since you two have gone out stargazing and her warmth alone was just short of sufficing.

But that's technicalities. You only tease her when you really feel like it. It took her awhile to let her walls down around Raven and Octavia, and even longer around the rest of the gang. But she still fit so seamlessly, like she really belonged and you were just waiting for that final piece in your group.

You're thinking about this and trying to remember life before Lexa moved away and life after Lexa was gone and life when Lexa moved back in the beginning of high school but her voice takes you out of your reverie.

“No wonder your hair's so wavy.”

“What?”

You still haven't opened your eyes to look at her, but you've felt her gaze on you, and it's kept you as warm as the summer sun.

“Jake and Abby don't have curly hair, you get yours from habit.”

You're in the middle of asking her what the hell she's talking about when you catch yourself twirling your hair around your finger. It is habit, you've had it since you were a kid. You used to do it when you were nervous, and when you had nightmares and waited for your dad to clear your room of monsters. You grew up with it, and now it's become something you do whenever you feel comfortable and you're deep in thought. You grew up with a lot of things from your childhood that you carried into your adolescence, and you're endlessly thankful to the universe that Lexa was one of them.

Lexa always makes comments like this, ones that seem like random afterthoughts that she just so happens to vocalize but you know they're thoughts that only come from someone who watches and pays attention. You're endeared by it, and you're still not used to Lexa's quirkiness, so you're actually about to sit up and kiss her when she speaks up again.

“If I didn't know any better, I'd probably think you were adopted.”

 _There it is._ The Lexa-esque comment that you were waiting for that never without failure comes after she makes any sort of statement that remotely suggests vulnerability. She is just so damn _smug_ and _insufferable_ and you're going to make her pay.

You sit up and lean in really close, your lips almost ghosting over hers, and you can see a flicker of surprise in her eyes, but it's gone immediately and in its place is mischief dancing in her eyes, the same that you know is reflected in your own.

“Maybe...” Your eyes widen, almost comically so, “Maybe... I'm your long lost sibling or something. Maybe we're related and we can't even kiss each other.”

She holds your gaze for a few moments longer, but she breaks into laughter after a valiant attempt at keeping her composure.

“Oh my god, Clarke.”

She's still wheezing, laughing heartily at your expense and you're kind of proud you're one of the few people, if not the only one who can get this reaction out of her. It seems that it's only your dad who's gotten a similar reaction from her, when your family tried surprising her for her birthday in sophomore year. You'd shoved her through the doorway, knowing she hated surprises and she probably already suspected something planned, especially since you _suck _at keeping secrets like that, but your parents failed to tell you that they were still in the process of setting up the decorations and you actually scared your father as he reflexively yelled “Happy birthday!” without realizing his height and flailed his arms. The whisk in his hand broke the lightbulb on the slightly too-short ceiling of the kitchen and some of the glass went into the cake, and your mother shrieked at the quick turn of events and while you stood there your mouth dropped in shock, Lexa was _leaning on the counter_ , physically incapable of holding herself up from her laughter.__

__“Clarke, what the hell? Why would you even think that.” She's still recovering from her residual laughter, and you _want_ to win but you still can't help the involuntary huff that escapes you. _ _

__“There's like a one percent chance that could be a thing, you know.” You lean your back on the side of the truck and face her, your shirt slightly sticking to your back in sweat._ _

__“Yes, like a marginal chance if we entirely ignore the fact that both of our parents have picture albums of the same pictures of us being born.”_ _

__You hum in agreement, but you're still not done pushing her buttons. “You're right, chances on that are slim, I guess. There's double the proof from my parents and yours, so there is no ignoring that I was the cuter baby.”_ _

__You wait for her reply, but she's too quiet for a moment too long, and you just _know_ what to expect. You stare at her, challenging her to say what you know she will._ _

__“You were a cute baby.”_ _

__You're content with the answer – it isn't what you were expecting, but you concede in content before she destroys all peaceful truce you could have had in one fell swoop. “You were so plump. Plump like a big round blueberry. Plump like-”_ _

__You move in to punch her arm but she avoids it effectively, and you huff again when your other attempts at her aren't successful._ _

__“Curves! Plumpy curves! An adorable child! A blueberry child!”_ _

__You try again, in vain, to shove at her, but this banter is a regular occurrence between you. You apparently bicker like children, and your mothers say you two are almost worse._ _

__“Yeah, well I wouldn't talk, you were like a frizzy haired Sasquatch. You probably robbed the entire world's baby population of their hair when you were born.”_ _

__“It would explain why you looked like an old man for two years.”_ _

__You gasp in shock, her words effectively stopping you from your half-hearted attempt at a violent rampage._ _

__“Rude! Keep that up and there's a zero percent chance you get a kiss from me tonight.”_ _

__It's Lexa's turn to gasp, and she's so affronted that you're sure for a split second that you've won this one._ _

__“How dare you.”_ _

__Instinctively, your legs carry you up and you're jumping down from the truck bed. Your feet are on the ground and they take you to a direction, any direction, and you're almost ready to run full sprint when you hear Lexa jumping off the side, and you squeal in fear._ _

__Lexa's fast, but you make a commendable attempt at escaping her clutches before you feel yourself being captured._ _

__Lexa's arms are around you and you're squirming and you know what's going to happen. When you fall, Lexa pulls your weight slightly so that you're falling into her, and she rolls to the side to soften your landing but she finds herself on top of you and she sits on you to prevent your escape._ _

__That's it, you're done._ _

__“Take it back!”_ _

__“I will not!”_ _

__“One last chance, Clarke.”_ _

__You pause, considering your options, but it's for show because you already knew your answer._ _

__“Never! Wretched beast!”_ _

__She pokes at your sides, exploiting the unfortunate knowledge of how ticklish you are, and you're a flurry of laughter and breathlessness. You still won't give in to her._ _

__“Retract your statement! Turn away from evil!” She keeps poking at your sides, pinning you down effectively when you try to push her off._ _

“I will not listen to your devilish ways!”

__“Do it! Do it Clarke!”_ _

__You keep squirming, trying in vain to avoid the poking but it's relentless, and you know Lexa's going in for the kill when you see an imperceptible smirk on her lips as she moves her fingers to get under your shirt. _Shit._ She's going for the ribs and her hands are resting on your stomach and you feel her hands on your skin under your shirt._ _

__Under any other circumstances, her hands under your shirt would make you shift gears entirely, but you know her intentions this time, and you ignore the sudden need that washes over you because _now is not the time, oh weak heart._ You panic now, knowing when to pick your battles and you're going to call mercy now before you're breathless and can't formulate any words because you know you're going to be so incapacitated when she tickles you under your shirt._ _

__“I concede! I concede! Mercy!”_ _

__She smirks again, and she waits, her eyebrow rising expectantly. Another moment passes then, but her eyes are different. She stares another moment, and you're about to ask her what's wrong._ _

__“You really are your parents' kid.”_ _

__You're still trying to process the turn of events and you're somehow hyper-aware of the sensation of her hands on your skin but you also forget where you are, and you're so in a limbo of knowing and not knowing and staring in awe and staring in confusion when she speaks up again._ _

__“Stubborn Griffin pride.” There's a soft smile gracing her lips, like a quiet chuckle and she looks at you so _marvellously_ and you still aren't used to how you feel when she looks at you like you're a singular miracle in her life._ _

__“But strong, so incredibly strong.” She's almost mumbling to herself, but you can barely hear her. Your mouth is slightly agape, but you dare not interrupt whatever moment she's having._ _

__“Your father's wit and your mother's eyes.”_ _

__You can't help it, you're emotional and you're extra emotional when Lexa's being emotional and you're about one second away from tearing up and when she leans in close and mumbles, “I love you, Clarke Griffin,” barely above her breath, you're going to break._ _

__You're about to lean in for the kiss when you hear a truck pulling up on your dirt driveway._ _

__“Get off my lawn, damn teenagers!”_ _

__Your dad honks the horn for good measure, and your mother swats at his arm before they both get out of the truck._ _

__Lexa helps you up and you're blushing furiously now, remembering again where you were and more importantly where Lexa's _hands_ were, and your mother seems to know this too because she's giving you a chastising look veiled in her fond smile, and you're properly placated. You're traumatized perhaps for a good week._ _

__Your dad, however, is thankfully more blissfully unaware and he pats Lexa on the shoulder before wrapping her in a slightly worrying massive bear hug._ _

__“Seems as though those karate lessons Clarke took for eight minutes didn't help, eh, kid?”_ _

__Your dad is terrible. And with Lexa, he's even more terrible. And the two of them together, they are a nightmare._ _

__“What?” Lexa humours your father. You just have to ride it out. You glare at her challengingly, anticipating the smartass remark, and you're not disappointed. “I thought she only lasted six?”_ _

__Jake laughs heartily, as he always does, and he wraps his arm around Lexa's shoulder. “She's got a poet's soul, that one. An artistic heart. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Unlike you, big shot forward.”_ _

__“Soccer is hardly a big deal, Jake.”_ _

__“What? Oh come on. You probably destroy all the guys regardless. Did I tell you about the time I won our last senior football match with the sweetest Hail Mary that school's history will ever see?”_ _

__“Dad, not this story again.” You've heard it before, from your mother and your uncle... and the grocery store clerk. Even the librarian. Suspiciously, all their stories are strikingly different._ _

__“Please! You make it sound like it's some big fish tale of wonders.” Your dad has the sense to seem vaguely offended._ _

__“It is just a big fish tale of wonders.” Your mother is back carrying a bag of groceries and hands a bag into your arms._ _

__“I did it for you, Abby. That miracle play was for you! I got the girl in the end. A proper end to our high school life.” Your dad is wistful, and he sighs dramatically._ _

__“You 'got' me, after several failed attempts at approaching me at the university library.” She whispers conspiratorially to you and Lexa, making sure your dad benefits from hearing her fake whisper. “The one that did it was the time he tripped on a stack of books and landed into a cart. I took pity on him after that other attempt at romance but your grandfather threatened him with a bat for bringing a boombox to our property in the middle of the night.”_ _

__“A miracle nonetheless, Abby! It all worked out!”_ _

__Your mother just hums in agreement, and she walks into the house as your dad stalks after after, seemingly content with proving her wrong and mumbling his arguments._ _

__Lexa takes the grocery bag from you and moves toward the house._ _

__“I'd definitely trust your dad's knowledge on miracles. You are here, after all.”_ _

__You gasp. Lexa is so gross and the _thought_ is so gross, and that atrocious attempt at a pick up line is so profoundly gross and you can do nothing but nudge Lexa in the stomach with just a marginal amount of more force than necessary, and the “oomf” that follows only satisfies you slightly._ _

__“Seeing as though the line obviously worked, what are the chances of me getting that kiss tonight?”_ _

__You forgot you'd said that. You're glad she reminded you, now you can seek retribution._ _

__“Well, fifty for that cute little moment you had before my parents interrupted. Negative eighty for that terrible excuse of a pick up line. But, added twenty if you promise never to make those sad attempts again.”_ _

__“Negative ten percent chance? The math doesn't add up.”_ _

__“Oh? Well damn!” You smile sweetly, making a show of turning on your heel and letting your hair flick over your shoulder._ _

__“Clarke, no, wait. Clarke.”_ _

__You're still smiling and you're almost about to laugh when you realize your dad has shut the door on you and your hands are full, and you just hope he hasn't locked the door again, completely ignoring the whole point of them coming back at all, but Lexa opens the door for you._ _

__“Allow me, m'lady.” She makes a show of bowing dramatically, and you contemplate kicking at her since you can't punch her but you decide to humour her this time._ _

__“My gratitude, fair knight.” You curtsey and smirk at how incredibly ridiculous she looks standing completely at attention like a proper soldier, and you soften just the tiniest bit. “Okay, negative five.”_ _

__Her eyes flick back to you from where they were staring concentrated on the space above your head, and you don't doubt that she will stand there until you're in the kitchen, but she closes the door and you hear a disruption in the air as she fist pumps her victory, chanting quietly and dancing that _stupid_ routine she does as her goal celebration and you still don't understand how people think she's cool._ _


	2. I hold on to every word you say to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You give me real soft kisses, walk me to the door_   
>  _Whisper how amazing this is_   
>  _and tell me I am beautiful_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fucking meta. This is literally so!!!! trash! I'm really impressed. LOOK AT ALL THIS GROSS FLUFF, UGH. yuck

“Clarke.” Her whispers are harsh, but they're not loud enough to penetrate the slightly opened window of your room.

Something taps at your window, but it's nothing.

“Clarke.” She tries again. It gets lost in the heavy darkness of the night.

You hear a tap at your window again, but in your haze you ignore the noises, hoping that it isn't six in the morning and you still have a few hours more to sleep.

There's more consecutive taps coming to your window and you just know that it isn't a coincidence. It's too incessant to be anything but coincidence. You realize then that it's not just a dream, and Lexa's voice isn't just the noises of nature.

You bolt up and wonder why Lexa is at your window, and when you look at the clock, it's close to midnight. You're about to rush to the window but you remember yourself, making sure to avoid that creaky floorboard in your room as your head snaps to your bedroom door, before you slowly make your way to the window.

You're proven correct when you see Lexa in her dark red plaid with her sleeves rolled up, and though it's the summer you still have the mind to scold her for being out here when it's cooler. She probably knows this too, because even in the dim light you can see her smirk forming, and it's nearing on midnight and you have to wonder what the hell she thinks she's going to accomplish today.

Before you can even speak, however, she nods her head towards the direction of what you're thinking is her truck and she's got that dumb grin that you know means trouble, and you're about to argue.

“No, Lexa-”

“Shhhh!” she cuts you off urgently, looking up with something that is a mixture of apprehension and amusement. “No time to explain.”

You speak quietly now, using the same harsh whisper that she used, remembering that your parents are heavy sleepers but you still won't be able to get away with whatever it is you're about to do. “Lexa, what the hell have you done?”

“Nothing! Come down loser, we're going shopping.”

“This is hardly the time for Mean Girls references you absolute turd. Why are you here?”

“M'lady doth betray me if she does not take my hand this night!”

You sigh audibly, you sigh dramatically, perhaps for a bit longer than is ever necessary, and after what seems like ninety-seven years of you sighing, you look back down at Lexa who has her hand outstretched to your window and her head inclined in a little bow.

You're going to kill her.

You put a sweater on and grab your coat, and you bring another blanket that's been draped on your chair just for good measure. You toss your coat and blanket out the window and you know it lands perfectly on Lexa when you hear her _giggling_ , and you think she's drunk. You can't believe you're entertaining her when she's drunk, but you're climbing out of your window anyway and jumping onto the little veranda that you're so grateful is stable enough that it has seen years of you doing this.

“Are you drunk?”

Lexa wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in gently as she kisses you, and you really can't help it and you really should, but you melt into her anyway and return the kiss.

“Seriously, Lexa-”

“No, I'm not.”

You know she's right because you would have tasted the alcohol on her breath. Perhaps she's high?

“Okay, well are you-”

“No, not that either.” She smiles and you roll your eyes, hearing the “not this time” as an echoing afterthought to her statement.

“So why have you bothered me and why am I entertaining you even when I could get into trouble for this?”

She wraps the blanket around you and pulls it to your front snugly, and you get the idea and you hold onto the front. When she's content that you're warm, she tugs on your hand and pulls you towards her truck. You kind of can't believe you're going along with this. It's a Friday night, or, for a few more minutes it will be, and Saturday you have nothing to do except help around the farm. Your consequences are softened since it's not a school day. You thank whatever stars that Lexa didn't have these impulses on a week day.

“You're not going to tell me where we're going, are you?”

“Stargazing!” She's looking at you with her big round eyes and she's actually a child and the excitement she's basking in is so endearing and it's unfair that she can charm you literally _out_ of your bed when it should be the opposite, really.

“Stargazing, Clarke!” She repeats herself again as she opens the passenger seat for you and helps you in. “Meteor shower today!”

You smile at her now, and she's had the sense to park further down the driveway so that her truck wouldn't cause too much disruption. You can't believe you love her, and you're 17 and you probably have no idea at all what that means to you or how it should feel, but all you know is that Lexa is here and she came back into your life for a reason, and for whatever reason that might be, you won't question it because you're happy and you've never been happier.

Your parents are so going to kill you. But when she eases out of the driveway and pulls onto the road, you figure Lexa is trouble and she's adventure and midnight impulses but you still can't wipe the smile off your face. You're watching her and she's calm now, as if she hadn't just taken you out of bed and snuck you out of the house. There's no tension in her face and she looks as content as you probably feel, and you put your hand on top of hers on the gear shift and smile again as you look out the window.

It's only a few minutes more of driving and she's taken you to a clearing before the lake. You've been here before, and not many people know of it. The high schoolers have claimed the other lake in town in favour of its hidden twisted paths and the cover of large bushes, but that was in the opposite direction and you figure nobody at all will be out at this hour.

Lexa has already put the blanket on the ground and she's taken her boots off and she outstretches her hand to you, waiting expectantly for you to take it.

You take the dork's hand and she eases you both down and she lays on her back and closes her eyes. You quirk your eyebrow when you realize she has no intention of saying anything if she doesn't have to.

“What good's stargazing if your eyes are closed, Casablanca?”

Her lips twitch into a smile. “Can't I relax with my fair lady in the comfort of nature?”

“You could be relaxing in bed where it's warm and cozy.”

She looks at you now, appraising you before she gives another considering look when she hums in contemplation. “Blankets, check. Cuddles with you, check. I think we've met all the criteria for warm and cozy. I've deduced that by all standards, this is supremely better than the alternative, simply because you're here.”

You grin at her, not able to hide your adoration this time, “You can be really stupidly sweet when you want to be.”

She looks to you again and the soft smile on her lips grows. You gaze at each other for a few more moments and you're both so dumb and you're crazy in love and it's actually so ridiculous that you figure this is what perfection is.

You break the look to tilt your head to the sky. “You figure there's people out there?”

“Astronauts? Yes.”

“No, nerd. Like, beyond.”

Lexa deliberates in silence. You can't thank the universe enough for Lexa in all her forms. Lexa and her spontaneity and her wildness, Lexa and her quiet contemplation, Lexa and her contentment and easiness. _Lexa. Lexa. Lexa._

“Of course there is. There's got to be. We can't be the only ones down here.”

You hum in agreement and you spot a flicker of a meteor. Your breath hitches a little. You can never get over the magic of the showers. “It would be so lonely if it was just us.”

“It isn't just us. It's you and me and the world.”

“Not you and me against the world?” You like this Lexa. You don't see enough of it during the day when she's helping around the farm or when you're in school and all your friends are around. You may be the artist of the pair but you've already made peace with the fact that there's nothing at all artistic, or spiritual, or mathematical or scientific that could embody Lexa or explain her or honour her or even do her justice. Still, it doesn't stop you from trying to commit every detail of her existence to your memory and onto paper. The least you could do for her is to never stop trying.

“No, not you and me against the world. There's already too much fighting. The world is a great big place and there's goodness everywhere if you know where to look.”

“That's hard, sometimes, you know. Maybe there are places where there isn't any goodness at all.”

“True, that may be true. But this is life. We owe it to ourselves to do what we must. We have to do it for happiness. We have to do it for life.”

“Do you think they're happier out there? Wherever they are? Do you think it's any better out there?”

“I don't think so. It's no different here than it is anywhere else. It'll always be the same surviving, trying to make the most of what we have.”

“Surviving? What good is life if we're just going through the motions?”

Lexa sits up now, her arms wrapping around her legs. “It isn't surviving in the traditional sense. It's us trying to triumph over sadness. It's us trying to break tradition and destroying this idea that we have a routine set in place for us and that's all we will ever be.”

She pauses, considering her words in the middle of her fervour. “It's us celebrating life. Life's too short. I could be dead tomorrow. I could be dead in a week. Maybe I'll die, like, a century from now. I don't know. But I'm alive now, and I owe it to life and you owe it to life, and we all owe it to life to make the most of it. We deserve that.”

“We do deserve this, don't we?”

Lexa nods. She looks up to the sky and you follow her gaze, another meteor flickers by. “We do. We deserve life. We deserve the glory of fighting against life's struggles and defeating them and coming back stronger than ever. This is ours.”

“Well then, I'd like to fight life with you.” You look at Lexa. You really don't know at what point in the night you'd gotten so sappy. She's rubbed off on you. You should tease her about it later.

“It would be my honour to fight life with you, as well, Clarke Griffin.”

You scoot over so you're cuddled next to her, and Lexa takes you into her arms and wraps them around you so you can relax into her. You like how strong Lexa is whenever you lean into her. You feel lucky knowing you have someone who can hold you up sometimes.

“I'm so lucky to have you.” You say it with so much sincerity, and you figure tonight's a night of seriousness and hushed promises. It should scare you, but you're slowly starting to learn that fear is sometimes a good thing.

You feel Lexa exhale steadily, and her breaths stabilize you. You really can't believe your luck. “I'm so lucky, and sometimes I wonder if there's an alternate you out in another universe that's even better than this.”

But you aren't Clarke and Lexa without backhanded compliments, and you really couldn't help yourself.

Lexa pokes at your side and you twitch in her arms, laughing at her reaction. She's laughing too and you can feel her chest rumbling at your back.

“And who's to say there's anything better than _this_?” She says as her free hand flippantly gestures toward herself.

“You obviously have a good twin out there. You're the evil counterpart, because you're a jerk.”

“Me? I'm the jerk?” She says it incredulously.

“Only sometimes.”

Lexa huffs, but it's more out of amusement than anything. “Well, sky goddess, if you're such an expert on these things, care to explain the phenomenon of how you've made it to earth?”

“It's simple, Atlas, the god of thunder told the vikings that a magical stork was going to fall out of the sky, and that stork carried the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen and that was me.”

“That may single-handedly be the most bastardized version of history and mythology and everything else I have ever heard in my life.”

“Are you saying I'm wrong?” You turn in her arms and glare at her in challenge, and you do a pretty good job of hiding behind your mask of offence but you know she can see what your eyes say.

“No, you're right. You can't be real.”

You're about to jump on her rebuttal but she pushes on. “You're the stuff fantasies are made of. You came into my life maybe free-falling or stumbling and I don't know how, or why, but you're here and I'm the one who's got you in my arms and I'm the one that gets to sneak you out at night and get you grounded and feel only slightly guilty about it, because your parents kinda love me and I love them too.”

You smile, and you can't help it, and she's almost effectively ruined the mood by mentioning your parents and your imminent doom but you kiss her, and you kiss her because you're teenagers and the world is so big and though you only occupy the tiniest corner of it, you still want to explore every single inch of it with Lexa.

“We really should go back.”

“You're probably right.” She takes another few breaths to bask in the moment before she lets you go and you stand up and help her up.

When you drive back home, your dad's outside on the lawn with a mug in his hand. You don't want to admit that you cringe, but you kind of do, and you think Lexa has too because she's holding her breath, but you take her hand and squeeze it, wordlessly saying it's okay and you're glad and you'll take whatever comes your way.

She smiles softly at you and squeezes your hand too, before jumping out of the car and rushing over to your side to open your door.

Your dad still hasn't looked at you, and his eyes are skyward.

“Evening, sir.” Lexa greets him, and you and your parents both have insisted it's not necesarry, but it's a force of habit and you still find it adorable regardless.

“Good evening, Lexa. Clarke.” Your dad nods at you both and his eyes go back to the sky. “You guys watch the meteor shower?”

“We did.” You're going to tell your dad the truth. He is, after all, the slightly better option of having caught you two than if your mother did.

Lexa looks like she wants to say something but you hold her hand and it tells her wordlessly to wait.

“I'd forgotten about it. It's a clear night too.”

“I forgot about it too, the idea struck me when I couldn't fall asleep. I remembered it was tonight. I told Anya where I was going... kind of.” Lexa smirks at this, never failing to find amusement in the littlest things. “She knows how much I like being outside. I let her know when we got there and when we were coming back.”

Your dad nods and he glances at his watch. You're about to check the time too, but you realize your pockets are empty. You left your cellphone in your room. Your dad seems to have caught your realization.

“It's a little past midnight, you guys see any good ones?”

Lexa concedes. “It was pretty active tonight. I'm glad we made it out. Given the circumstances, I know I should have planned for this and asked for your permission sooner, and I take full responsibility of my recklessness and encouraging Clarke to do the same.”

Your dad smiles at Lexa, taking a sip from his mug. “Slow down, Romeo. You can still walk her to the door.” He actually rolls his eyes and his smile quickly turns into a smirk of his own. “But I'm going to head back inside. And you,” he pointedly looks at you, “are going to go back to your room.”

He nods to the direction of your window and you follow his gaze. You notice a ladder has been placed against the veranda and you really want to hug your dad right now.

“I'm not responsible for what happens to you if you wake your mother up, though. I've been in the kitchen this entire time.”

You and Lexa are grinning, and she looks like she wants to hug your father as well and you're just so happy and you know you're probably going to have a talk later in the day, but you're smiling so much and you can't believe how good life just _is_.

Your dad chuckles at you and he already expects you when you come barelling into him and wrap your arms around him.

When you look up at him, he's rolling his eyes again but the fondness gives him away, and he ruffles your hair before he shoves you slightly into Lexa's direction. “I'm probably going to need you to come in a bit early to help out with the hay bales, Lexa.”

“No problem at all, sir.” Lexa salutes to him and you're both so dorky right now, and he leaves with a wave of his hand, probably still amused at how absolutely gross you two are as he quietly makes his way back inside.

You both run to the ladder and Lexa holds onto it, steadying it for you so you can climb into your room again.

“Alright, sky goddess, your stairs to the heavens await you. Go now, from where you've come. Promise to return to my home, the earth, fairest lady.”

You grunt at Lexa's ridiculous lines, _as always_ , and pull her in roughly as you kiss her. It's impassioned this time, not quite like the kiss you had tonight and you let go with only the slightest reluctance. Lexa is coming back in only a few hours, after all.

“Whatever the hell it is you, or your alternate selves, or any other of your past lives had to have done to be here in this moment, I thank all these stars for gracing me with you in my life.”

You climb up the ladder and trust that Lexa will sneak the ladder towards the back of the house to the shed. You can hear that your dad's still downstairs and you really think that you want to spend some time with him, but when you lay down into the softness of your bed, your eyelids fall heavy and you never had a fighting chance against it all.


	3. Whisper how amazing this is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Make me smile when my night has gone wrong_   
>  _And give me your hand to hold_   
>  _I'm fallin' so fast_
> 
> Or. Lexa, Raven, Octavia, and Clarke are idiots. Lincoln is positively scared for his life at all times he's around them, and everyone's graduating from high school. Jake Griffin is the photographer we all deserve, and Anya is just a sucker. Oh, and I guess Clarke and Lexa are positively gross _but what's new._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL FLUFF. MAGNIFICENT ANGST. But it's not even angst. So like, chill. We good. It's all good.

“Clarke, that outfit is fine.”

“Yeah, seriously, it's not like you're getting married.”

“Guys!” You look at them almost incredulously. “Graduation only happens _once_. This is a big a deal as any!”

“I guess she's right, graduation is a one time deal, especially since she'll probably marry more than once- ouch!”

You swiftly punch Raven in the arm, she's smirking slightly and you almost give in too, but you're still offended. “Funny joke. This is a big deal. It's another four years before university graduation! That's a long way away.”

“Yeah, who knows what can happen in four years. We might be _aunties_ by then Raven! Aunties three times!”

You're about to smack Octavia upside the head but she avoids the swing easily and you're so ready to chase her around the house if needed before your mother's voice comes from downstairs.

“Girls, are you ready? You better be changed and set, we're going to leave in twenty minutes!”

“Yes, Mrs. G!” Raven and Octavia reply in unison and you just have to roll your eyes.

They both bolt down the stairs as you check yourself in your mirror. It's a simple white dress with subtle lace patterns that comes up just above your knees. It cinches at your waist and wraps around the curves of your hips nicely. It fits you and it's your style and it's practically perfect. You've opted for your black ankle strap heels to complete your ensemble. You don't want to admit entirely that you coordinated your outfit with Lexa, but you totally did.

But that part will be a secret until it's entirely unavoidable. Especially when all your friends are concerned.

“Late to your graduation and your wedding, Clarke? Jesus. Is there anything in your life you haven't been late for?”

Raven's comment is snarky but her expression is anything but that, and Octavia is beside her seemingly quieter than her usual self.

She appraises you quietly only for a moment and subtly nods her approval. “Looking good, Griff. Who knew you cleaned up nice after all?” She smirks, but you get the idea. This is as most of a compliment you'll ever get from Octavia.

“She was late to her own birth, you know. I spent almost 24 hours in labour with this one.”

“Mom, oh my god.”

Raven and Octavia are laughing now, your mother ruining any semblance of calm and order you could have used to reel in your friends.

“Look at all my girls! You're all so gorgeous on your big day.” She holds Raven's arms as she takes in her figure before she hugs her. “I can't believe we're finally already here!” She moves onto Octavia and gently caresses her face. “I think I might cry.”

“Mom, we haven't even left the house yet.” But you're smiling and you really try to hold back the tears threatening to mist your eyes. You think your mother is almost there.

“Clarke, my beautiful baby girl.” She actually grabs you now and pulls you into a tight hug. “I am so proud of you.”

“Mom...”

“A house full of angels and I think I've just about died. How have I ever gotten so lucky?” Your dad makes his way into the loft wearing his cleaner brown boots and his _special_ gingham shirt tucked into his khakis. You're all definitely a sight to behold, none of your outfits over the top. Your clothes are as modest and practical as you are, and there's nothing wrong with simplicity.

“Alright, scholars, show off the wolf teeth or don't go to school at all.” Your dad takes out his camera and he hands your mother your polaroid.

You stand next to your two best friends and wrap an arm around them both, bringing them in together to close in on you. Octavia strikes her usual pose, showing off a bit of her side with a fiercely glamorous pout as Raven winks at the camera and throws a thumbs up.

You know your mother is taking several shots of you guys, so when you hear one click, you roll your eyes at your friends' antics and you hear another click. You stick bunny ears behind Raven's head and smile innocently, and Raven's still posing dramatically and Octavia has ditched being fabulous in favour of a wide smile, and you hear the click as you feel Octavia's arm snake around you and jam a finger into Raven's side. Raven twitches violently and shrieks and Octavia has pulled you in front of her as a shield and you're laughing as Raven tries to recover from her tragic slip up, and that's the last picture.

“Okay, that's it, Paparazzi’s tired, let's take this party outside. We still gotta wait for Romeo and company.”

Your heart flutters with your dad's comment. You know he means Lexa, Lincoln, and Anya. You really can't wait to see Lexa, and apparently, your face can't hide it.

“Gross, Clarke. If you excuse me, I'll be outside where the air isn't stifling.”

“Seriously, Lexa's not even here and the tension is already unbearable.”

Your mother tuts in disapproval and ushers your friends outside, and you're glad she's just as embarrassed as you by their joint lack of a filter and their candid commentary on your love life. You follow them outside shortly after and you hear more voices in the backyard.

Lincoln is shaking your father's hand as your dad clasps him on the shoulder, and Anya, who is conversing with your mother, looks entirely too smug, and you realize it might have something to do with Raven's slightly lopsided ponytail and the look of annoyance clearly on her face as she rubs at her head.

When you see Lexa, you're positive there aren't enough movies, books, and songs in the world to capture just how absolutely _cliche_ you feel at this very moment when your eyes finally meet hers.

She smiles easily from where she's stood next to Anya and your mother talking, and she makes her way toward you before you run up to her and wrap your arms around her. She laughs as she takes you in her arms and spins you around slightly. You burrow your nose into her neck and smell the cologne she has on.

Your head is already spinning and when she lets you go, you're almost glad you're leaning slightly into her. You would have fallen down otherwise.

She's worn a simple black dress shirt tucked into her dress pants and a skinny white tie to contrast your own outfit. Her sleeves are rolled up just below her elbows again, and you're convinced you're going to faint in the sweltering summer sun.

She's got her hands on your hips as if to steady you, and you're so ready to kiss her as much as you know she deserves, but she beats you to it and pecks you on the lips. You still haven't said anything to her yet.

“What's gotten into you? Cat got your tongue?”

“I'm sure there's other places you can find her-”

“Okay!” You swing around and you're going to cover the mouth of whoever is going to have hell to pay for that comment later but the voice is swiftly cut off by Lincoln tackling into Octavia as he effectively reveals the culprit to you as well as placating her.

“Is she wrong?” Lexa's voice husks in your ear and you really don't know how to react at this point. All you know is that you're glad your parents are nowhere near you to hear any of this conversation.

“I'll see how you behave today, and I'll let you know.”

“When will I find out if I've been good or not?”

“Where's the fun in telling you that?” You kiss her again and smile at her slowly growing urgency.

“Well that's not fair, you have to make some rules you know.”

You hum your disagreement, “No, I don't think so. I'm in control now.”

She's actually _pouting_ now and you laugh at how adorably strange the expression is on your girlfriend. It never fails to amuse you.

“What's Commander Hearteyes' problem this time, Clarke?”

“You putting her on a leash again?”

You huff a laugh as you smack Octavia and Raven simultaneously, “No, I'm not putting her on any leash. If anyone's supposed to be worried about anyone, it's you two. You're going to sabotage the grad ceremony somehow, I can feel it in my bones. There's a foreboding sense of doom in the air.”

Raven and Octavia stare at you briefly before they give each other a devious smirk.

“Well, you're wrong.” Raven tilts her head in amusement. “Whatever that sense of doom in the air is that you're on about is just Commander over there seething if you don't get her laid tonight.”

Raven and Octavia both shriek as you lunge to grab at them, but Lexa wraps an arm around you and spins you in another direction. “Not on my watch, sky goddess.”

You gasp in shock as you struggle out of Lexa's hold. “You betray me if you apprehend me further!”

“No sky goddess, no!”

You manage to escape Lexa's clutches and tumble into the direction of the two idiots as they squeal again and split up. Your mind seems to have decided on Raven, and you all run around the backyard seeming to forget that you're in dresses and you're minutes away from going to your high school graduation.

“Gather 'round, herd the hooligans, we're actually leaving now!” Anya tries, she really does, but you're still set on apprehending either of your best friends as Octavia sticks her tongue at you from behind Lincoln and Raven walks suspiciously close to your mother and gives you a remarkably stupid face. _Oh, how they mock you now. But later? Oh... later._

Everyone walks back towards your house and your dad insists on taking more photos, and you're actually thankful _someone_ is at least trying to preserve the moments like normal people probably do. He takes photos of you, Raven, Octavia and Lexa together, then lets Lincoln in on the shots, and somehow it ends up a photoshoot for Octavia and Lincoln. Raven eventually shoves her out of the way of the camera and drags Anya with her who, for her part, looks supremely caught off guard and vaguely annoyed at the sudden movement, but she concedes to the photo with a smirk of her own.

You and Lexa are the last for a photo-op, and when you end off with a kiss, your mother takes the photos. So far, she's done a good job of holding off her tears, but her eyes are really misty now. Your suspicions are proven when you hear a slight sniffle and she simply smiles at you and Lexa before she grabs Lexa into a hug.

It's apparently a day of hyper-sentimentality. She hands you the photos and smiles again before everyone herds towards your driveway, but Lexa stops you at the door. You expect her to kiss you again since you're alone, and you lean your head up to kiss her but she places a hand on your cheek.

She smiles when you huff your disapproval. “Seriously. All jokes aside, I'm proud of you too. You've worked really hard these past few years and really it's only right that you get to see all your work paid off. You deserve this day. You deserve the school of your dreams. I'm so happy for you, Clarke.”

Her thumb gently rubs at your cheek and you _will_ your lip not to tremble.

“You've worked hard too, you know. This isn't just about me.”

“Yes, well, you're the doctor here. I can't believe how incredible you are.”

Your voice is softer, barely above a hushed whisper. “I'm going to miss you.”

“Oh, Clarke.” She pulls you in for a kiss, and it's bittersweet and you really don't want to think about it right now. You're kissing your girlfriend and you really don't want to think about how nice and how _sad_ it all makes you. You're about to cry.

Lexa can see the tears just ready to spill from your eyes, and she almost looks like she'll cry too. “Oh no, pretty girl, don't cry. Today isn't about that. In fact, no other day is about that. I'm not going anywhere. This is hardly any different.”

“I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go away. I want to stay here with you.”

Lexa smiles fondly at your persistence, her hand still caressing your cheek. “I know that, I know that too. But this is you, Clarke. No matter how much I'll miss you too, I wouldn't let you stay just for me. This is your life too.”

“Med school can wait.”

“No, Clarke.” Lexa is still smiling softly but her voice is only marginally stern. “Med school can't wait. But I can. And I will. I love you, and I'm not going to take your life away from you. Not if I can help it.”

“You're too good. You're going to make me cry.”

“That's not my intention at all.”

“It's all your fault.”

“Well, then, I guess I'll take the blame. I'll always take the fall for you.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” You look up and smile at Lexa, and she smiles back. She pulls you in close as she wraps her arms around your middle and places a hand on the back of your head to bring you into her chest. You nestle into her comfortably and you hear her inhale and breathe into your hair as she kisses the top of your head.

You both stand there comfortably, knowing you have to leave for the graduation ceremony soon, and you can't even bring yourself to think about the leaving you're going to have to do after that, and you entirely do not care about the people who are all waiting for you to hurry along.

You spend another few moments in each other's arms basking in the moments you do have, and you really don't want to think about how rushed it kind of feels.

“So if you're going to be a doctor and I'm going to marry you, does that make me Dr. Mrs. Lexa Woods too?”

You burst out laughing. You really can't imagine your life without Lexa. Leave it to her to make extraordinarily silly comments. Leave it to her to always know how to effectively make you smile in no effort at all.

“That's totally not how it works.” You grin at her and she grunts her disapproval.

“Damn... I guess you're right. It's probably Mrs. Dr. Lexa Woods since the marriage thing is more important and that has to go first.”

“Hmmm, though that's a fair thought, that's not quite how it works either, babe.”

“Jesus!” Lexa throws her hands up in the air now. “What does this world expect of me! Too much, it seems!” Her expression is sullen and petulant, and she suspiciously doesn't look you in the eyes in her tirade. You know it's because she'll break her facade.

“And why is it that you get to keep your last name? Mine not good enough?” Your expression is equally dangerous, and your stare is intensified.

Lexa looks at you with a confused expression, something that looks like she's suggesting the answer is so brutally obvious and it's so absurd that you somehow still can't see it. “Are you kidding me? If I'm going to be Mrs. Dr. Griffin, people are going to confuse me with you! I can't do surgeries on people! I don't even know about papercuts I have until I dip my hands in sanitizer. I can't be responsible for people.”

You stare at her for a moment before you burst out laughing again, and she breaks into laughter shortly after you.

“You're ridiculous. You're still responsible for this person though.”

“That, I will take gladly.” She kisses you one last time, and you both know you've more than indulged in your time alone.

You can hear several voices outside and a door slamming and you brace yourself for the commotion that you know is about to follow.

“Clarke Griffin and Commander, if you don't come out right now we're going to kick this door down and drag you out- Sorry Mrs. G!”

You hear some more commotion and you can picture it all clearly, Octavia reaching over to the driver's side and one long drone of the horn, and incessant honking after it. 

Lexa's eyes widen and you grab her hand, “Time to go before we wake up the dead!”

“The dead are gone and the living are impatient!”

You both scoot to the backseat of Lincoln's car and Raven _demands_ she doesn't sit between you and Lexa, and you're more than happy to oblige anyway.

When the cars pull out of the driveway, you decide to humour your best friends.

“So, what is it this time? Last year's prank was pretty incomparable.”

Raven scoffs, and she actually looks very offended. “Are you kidding me, Griff? They didn't have me. This year's going to be a fireshow.”

You can see Lincoln's eyes widen from the rearview mirror and you laugh. “Oh really? A _fireshow_ you say?”

“You're damn right.” Raven looks smug and devious, two very dangerous things to consider together, and even more so where _Raven Reyes: mechanical genius and notorious pyrotechnics enthusiast_ is involved.

“It's not going to be loud, is it?” Lexa only looks slightly more disturbed than Lincoln, but just barely.

“You need not worry, Commander. You'll have all the quiet in the world during Octavia's valedictorian speech that I'm sure will be an absolute snooze-fest, especially after Jaha made her revise practically the entire thing.”

“Yeah, right?” Octavia pipes in excitedly and turns in her seat to face you. “It's like, he doesn't think everyone wants to hear about the time we scared Mr. Wallace during history when we decided to reenact world war tactics during class.”

“It's like nobody at all appreciates hands-on learning. What a joke of an institution, this formal education!”

“And so your solution is..?” You ask aloud, and you know you probably don't want to hear the answer, but you have to brace yourself to some extent.

“Well, it's simple. Let's just say this ceremony is going out with a _bang_. Octavia's speech is going to be positively electric.”

Lexa's eyes widen even more and Lincoln inhales sharply as Octavia and Raven share a high five. You know today is a significant day in your life. There will be substantial moments that you know you'll never forget, some you will have a say in, and others you will remember and not know why you did. But when you look back on them later, you'll know there would have been a reason for those memories to stick with you. Other moments, you'll forget and leave to the recesses of your subconscious, and others, you'll replay over and over.

This is just one of those moments, and you're in a car full of some of your greatest friends, and your girlfriend is holding your hand with a mighty dedication and you don't _want_ to think about how your moments today are numbered, because that's not what it is. Lexa had even said so herself. There will always be more moments. There will always be new ones, and today or any other day, or _this_ is not any different.

Yet, you know it is. You can feel it is different, and you know it's because this is just one moment in your life where you embark on the next greatest things that your life has to offer, and in this car full of youthfulness and buzzing excitement, you know these are the people who are going to follow you into the next great adventure of your life, and you feel infinite and reassured. There's nothing bittersweet about today, it's only just the beginning of the rest of your life.


End file.
